It is always more pleasant to enjoy, in one way or another, the people you share space with frequently. These people can be as close to you as a partner, family, or close friends; or they can be as unknown to you as the person going into the same coffee shop every morning just as you are picking up your yogurt for breakfast, the person you pass on the path on your walks, or the dog you greet every evening, but don’t even exchange glances with his human. The degree to which you share space is not really even connected to the amount of time spent with that person, it has more to do with each person’s need or desire for a particular place, the state of mind of each person, and the deemed propriety of interaction in a specific space. Whether or not there is interaction between one another in a particular space, it is important to acknowledge each other’s right to be there and to be uninterrupted or engaged with at their preference as well as remembering that you, yourself, have the same right to exist in a space the way you choose to, as long as you recognize that respect runs two ways. Wouldn’t it be nice to occupy tranquil space most of the time?
If you’ve ever watched a pair of skaters, or a well done classic ballet, or a fun and riveting marching band, part of the excitement and enjoyment is marveling at how well anywhere from two to hundreds can work together and appear to be making no effort to create any atmosphere they choose. It is natural to assume that these people must be close, must do many things together, and agree on most major issues; but that is not necessarily the case; in fact there are well-known couples in many of the creative fields that spend virtually no time together aside from occasional practicing. There are large performing groups that have never seen each other before their first performance and the chosen venue. This is not to say that it takes no effort to make a performance look effortless, but that there are extraordinary connections between some people who bridge the gap of personal likes or dislikes. Those who would like to strengthen their bonds might try a tandem something; if they don’t already have naturally strong ones, working hard at becoming a team will surely grow them. In any case, creating a mood or expressing oneself as part of a group acting in tandem is an amazing experience. Do you think you would like to experience that feeling more?
When things are very stressful, you feel like you’re on a speeding train, but you are also going nowhere and won’t get there in time, then can’t sleep when you finally fall into bed; you might become just a little bit annoyed with that one kind of person that shows up in almost every facet of your life who is always cheerful and positive, always ready to lift you and give unsolicited support loudly and usually, in a kind of baby voice and jargon. Most likely they won’t even know they are annoying and cloying, they can even withstand that little touch of sarcasm directed their way and even flat-out requests to just go away roll right off their backs. They might be so annoying because they’ve already found the roses and are already smelling them, their glasses are always full and they always have them filled with lots of lemonade, you always see a twinkling eye when you look at them. Maybe they’re so annoying because you’d like to be able to feel that way all the time, too. Just not so ickily and loudly. Wouldn’t you?
In many cases when one appears striding forward with strength and purpose at least half of what they accomplish has been achieved by their presentation, and the long, strong striding pace has a lot to do with that. Even if you’re not a tall person, if you take very long steps and come down relatively hard on your feet while keeping your torso upright and tall, you will command attention. A strong stride and upright carriage can be useful in a very personal way as well; When you maintain such a posture and stride, with your eyes directed straight ahead (but your peripheral vision working overtime) you are much less likely to accosted on night-time city street, or any other time and place that may feel dangerous or threatening to you. A proud stride can bolster your feelings when you’ve lost an internal battle, with yourself, a self-given challenge, or real, but non-violent opponent; you can retain dignity and commit to another try or your own challenge. The very nature of striding promotes better posture and makes walking big something to live up to for yourself. Walking big shows your pride in yourself and your confidence in your worth. Doesn’t’ striding toward goals feel much better than mere walking?
For some it is not enough to beat someone at a simple board game, or an intense rivalry between athletic enemies, or take a bite out of someone’s ego or sense of self by showing them up intellectually or by getting a better score on a test. Some people must win, if they’re going to win, by a considerable margin or they don’t feel they’ve won At all. This behavior is unfortunate in that it hurts those this kind of person competes against, it hurts that person themselves, and there is usually collateral damage to spectators, or, more tragically, to the environment. Because these people adopt a ‘win at any cost’ attitude everything around them tends to become inconsequential during the heat of the time it takes to win or lose whatever game is at hand. These people play with a single-minded and narrow focused concentration while they are playing, but they are not engaged in competition all the time. Those who are vengeful players or feel they have been wronged in some way and must seek and have revenge that are the most dangerous, since they will use any strategy or employ any tactics to gain and keep the upper hand, up to and including complete destruction. We all have the potential to become out of control and dangerous in the extreme; it is important to stop and study our reactions when we become annoyed or angry – could we let anger become so focused that we’d give everything to get our way?
Some people exhibit an enviable style of carrying themselves that projects a such confidence and assurance that we assume they are, indeed, confident and assured. If we looked at ourselves and dissected our own behavior we most likely would find that the times we purposely dressed, walked, and held our features in that confident and assured way were the times we felt least sure of ourselves and most in need of a burst of the courage of our convictions and the will to carry it out. It is curious that we are quick to recognize positive and admirable characteristics in others, whether they are true or not, and slow, sometimes denying, those same characteristics in ourselves. If we do display admirable characteristics, we are seldom aware that we are doing so, and the moment we do recognize that, we tend to become self-conscious our behavior or looks and lose the effect and the integrity of the effect very shortly after its detection. The embarrassment many people feel at their positive behaviors is unfortunately too prevalent among admirable people. What is wrong with being an admirable person that behaves in admirable way?
There are times when it seems safer and more comfortable to stay surrounded by or covered by something that feels protective. A physical covering is the easiest way to provide shelter for oneself from almost anything as a first line of defense. But there are a plethora of things that are not physical that can assault one, too; fears of all kinds, lack of self-confidence, a desire for personal privacy, and having a break from all the trials and tribulations that surround us are examples of reasons to enshroud oneself. Sometimes these tactics are successful and sometimes they are not’ when they are not we don’t necessarily know that they are not, but then it really doesn’t really make much difference as long as we continue to believe we are protected since that belief is at least partial protection in itself. There is nothing wrong, therefore no reason to criticize or castigate those seeking anonymity or protection with coverings physical or mental, that covering may enshroud you in a cloak of mystery, or glory, or invincibility. Who wouldn’t like to wear one of those cloaks (or another of your choice), at least for a while?