We are all a sculpture of layers whose purposes range from showing to hiding our characteristics, feelings, and thoughts. There are times for sharing our characteristic and times for masking them and only we can make those choices. To do that effectively we know ourselves inside and out and be able to judge how react to others and to the stimuli we constantly receive. Knowing ourselves takes courage and time and an attempt to be objective about our thoughts and feelings. This is extremely difficult and a task that can never be completed since as we grow older, we change in a variety of ways, thus must introduce ourselves to our selves over and over again. We can make this an onerous chose and refuse to acknowledge its necessity or we can refuse to take stock and plunge through our lives blind and surprised. But the safest, most exciting, satisfying way to move through our lives, exploring and evolving along th way. It can be as fun to play with our own layers by changing which side is up or prodding the deepest layers as well as gently uncovering the layers of others. Isn’t life more fun when you explore it?
We all know about monsters, but none of us knows all about monsters; mostly we know about our own, whether they are friendly or malevolent toward us. Often our friendly monsters are symbols of fears we overcame when we were quite young; now we show that we have conquered and tamed those fears and their monster manifestations take on a soft, cuddly appearance, negating the fearful dominance they once held over us. Some of our monsters are expressions of our real and hoped-for powers; they can harm not only others, but can harm us as well. They may have become monsters because we are not really sure we have control over our feelings and thoughts and thus those feelings and thoughts are potentially as destructive to us as to others, whether they are threatening us or not. We can choose to view and raise our monsters to be fierce, but kind; unbending, but flexible; brave, but cautious. By making these choices we are giving ourselves back the opportunity to manage our own lives and not to be ruled by unreasonable fears and boundaries. We can learn to unleash our monsters only at appropriate moments, and not have them trample us at will. Shouldn’t we tame our monsters rather than let them control us?
It can be a fantastic feeling when you recognize that you in step with, in tune with another being. the feeling of joint feelings and goals lends a strength and purpose to all you are striving for. When you can exchange a glance and know that the next step taken will effortlessly be in step it conveys a sense or all being right with the world. Especially invigorating and satisfying is when those feelings carry over to times when you are not with the other. There is some danger in letting these most sought-after and affecting feelings absorb you entirely, though. When you are completely absorbed some of the effects of your happiness can directly affect the other parts of your life: you can lose sight of the fact that there are others in the world who need or want to interact with you, you can lose sight of the fact that you have other responsibilities, you can lose sight of the fact that you are, indeed, a separate entity and cannot lose your personality permanently. In the end you will always be an individual and you do need to hold yourself separate enough to able to enjoy and admire the other’s individuality as well. Being in step is wonderful, but not constantly, right?
Though we often think so, we don’t really need to dress in a flashy way, do flashy or attention-getting things, or spend our resources in a flamboyant or flashy way to get the attention or acclaim we feel we deserve. Often when we do, say, or dress in an attempt to attract attention, we do the exact opposite. Either our appearance or antics draws attention to us and not our message or our stridency negates the admiration our commendable actions those actions deserve. If we must solicit attention for ourselves personally or for what we’re doing we should take a deeper look inside ourselves and ask why we think we need additional help to send our messages. Perhaps it is because we have a lack of confidence and feel we must overdo to convince ourselves and others of our worthiness. Perhaps we feel we should keep up with or surpass others in some way. We fail to recognize that maintaining personal dignity and utilizing a more restrained, but confident, way of making our points will get those points, about ourselves, our thoughts, and our deeds, across efficiently and effectively. A bit of flash will not hurt and may help to get our points made but…do you really think a lot of fash is effective?
One of the hardest things that we must do is to recognize that we will not be the best, or even good, at everything we do or attempt to do. We may succeed for a moment or an event or two, but high achievement or success will not accompany each and every desire. When we realize that all we can do is the best we can do, and that may not win us the gold medal, we should try to accept it and turn our attention and our efforts to arenas where we know we can shine. Taking a good look ourselves and objectively assessing our positives and negatives is a good way to avoid painful and embarrassing situations. More importantly, it is a way to feel good about ourselves and our endeavors. Setting yourself up for a brief moment of fame or acclaim, one that we know can’t possibly last, is a good way to foster low self-esteem and to begin asking yourself damaging questions. I did it once, why can’t I do it again? He/she has the same schooling/training/background as I do, why can’t I succeed like they do? I want it, why can’t I have it? Shouldn’t we focus on our own abilities rather than focus on someone else’s?
There are times when we don’t feel we don’t have much, maybe only enough to just get by. And even that feels like nothing. So we want to hang on to whatever we’ve got and refuse to let go. However, with such mindless grasping we may lose sight of what it is we’re holding on to; and what we’re holding on to may slip more easily from that grasp, or, when human, may wish fervently to escape it. The very appearance of desperation tends to want to make people avoid it and you, for there is a real fear that, unreasonable as it is, such desperation is catching or that watching someone’s downfall is just too painful to contemplate. Hanging on to a career, lifestyle, or a grown child is just as pointless; hanging on because of fear of change or because you’re used to where you are allows for no personal growth or opportunities to open up for you. Releasing what is ready to be released or wants to be released may be frightening, but fright need not be paralyzing, it can be a tool to propel you forward so that you can open your heart and mind to things you had never imagined. Looking at opportunity is better than facing despair and loss isn’t it?