Some actions are especially inimical to us, we just have no tolerance for behaviors or attitudes that offend us or seem to have offended others we care for. When we find actions such as these galling to an extreme it is time for us to look at our reactions to see what has caused so intense a reaction. We may have done something similar in the past and feel embarrassment and at the same time denial that had ever done something as insensitive or stupid as that which offends us now. We may have been put in our place when we should have been and feel that everyone should know better than to do what have learned not to. We may be envious of the person who is exhibiting the behavior and thus want to belittle them or bring them down to our size. We may wish we had thought of it first. What is in common with these things is that they are all really about ourselves, not about someone else’s behavior, the other person or people are merely reflecting our own feelings back at us. Which leaves us with a question: do we remain angry, upset, galled? Or do we look behind our own reaction and examine what we find there?