Some people exhibit an enviable style of carrying themselves that projects a such confidence and assurance that we assume they are, indeed, confident and assured. If we looked at ourselves and dissected our own behavior we most likely would find that the times we purposely dressed, walked, and held our features in that confident and assured way were the times we felt least sure of ourselves and most in need of a burst of the courage of our convictions and the will to carry it out. It is curious that we are quick to recognize positive and admirable characteristics in others, whether they are true or not, and slow, sometimes denying, those same characteristics in ourselves. If we do display admirable characteristics, we are seldom aware that we are doing so, and the moment we do recognize that, we tend to become self-conscious our behavior or looks and lose the effect and the integrity of the effect very shortly after its detection. The embarrassment many people feel at their positive behaviors is unfortunately too prevalent among admirable people. What is wrong with being an admirable person that behaves in admirable way?
There are times when it seems safer and more comfortable to stay surrounded by or covered by something that feels protective. A physical covering is the easiest way to provide shelter for oneself from almost anything as a first line of defense. But there are a plethora of things that are not physical that can assault one, too; fears of all kinds, lack of self-confidence, a desire for personal privacy, and having a break from all the trials and tribulations that surround us are examples of reasons to enshroud oneself. Sometimes these tactics are successful and sometimes they are not’ when they are not we don’t necessarily know that they are not, but then it really doesn’t really make much difference as long as we continue to believe we are protected since that belief is at least partial protection in itself. There is nothing wrong, therefore no reason to criticize or castigate those seeking anonymity or protection with coverings physical or mental, that covering may enshroud you in a cloak of mystery, or glory, or invincibility. Who wouldn’t like to wear one of those cloaks (or another of your choice), at least for a while?
Some make it a habit, some eschew it altogether, others may use it when feeling down or when there is an occasion to celebrate, but almost all people will accessorize at times. Accessorizing as enhancement takes many forms, from the sublime to the ridiculous. However we judge others’ preferences, we must remember that others are judging ours as well. As long as you feel comfortable using or wearing your accessories you should let any negative comments or expressions bounce off the armor of your surety; no matter what you wear or how your actions represent you, you will always receive some negative feedback. If you allow yourself to be swayed by the opinions of those you know and respect you are abrogating your own personal self; if you allow yourself to accept the judgment of those you don’t know you are casting away your self-respect. To support a strong sense of yourself, to expect respect and to like yourself, you must accept and continually reinforce your self-respect. Doesn’t the sense of independence demand this of us all?
Anyone from anywhere has been told at some time or another, usually beginning when one is quite young, how to behave and which is the right way and which is the wrong way to perform certain actions. It is understandable, and necessary, for general cultural standards of behavior since any group or culture tends to partially define itself by certain mutual behaviors. It is also understandable that there are even more general behavioral standards that are applied tl all human cultures and in other animal cultures around the world as well, such as don’t kill your own kind. However there are standards of behavior taught with all the intensity of the major ones. These are beginning to be taught to children as young as one or two years old even though they don’t seem to be as critical as they are made out to be. Manners, such as table manners or wedding etiquette, could as easily be a matter of personal choice as well as being a matter of everyone’s business. Yet people are castigated or praise on the basis of their expressions of etiquette and judgements are made about them. Decisions are made about whether or not certain people are accepted into a society and a version of mob behavior ensures that that opinion is propagated throughout that particular group. When cultures and peoples have become as mixed as the Earth’s has, isn’t it fairly ridiculous to maintain those prejudices based on something as minor as clothing or diet?
Water is ubiquitous and it has been presented as the staff of life, necessary for any carbon-based creatures’ very existences. Water has been worshipped, demonized, blamed for drought, celebrated for plenty, and has had intent, positive or negative attributed to it. We know, really know, when we are thinking rationally, that water is an inanimate object and that there are no living cells, aside from those in solution, that are a part of water. Yet we persist in anthropomorphizing it and virtually every other inanimate object, along with the living ones. It is understandable that we create characters out of living things; they can at least be construed to have a brain, whether they have one or not, however giving something non-living sentience serves to point out that we must personalize anything that has any kind of power over us to be able to try to understand its power and its mechanics. When we humanize something, including ourselves and others, we are more able to understand it and predict its actions and deduct its motives. We try that with water, wind, fire, and more – sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But would you really like it to?
There is nothing wrong with asking another person for their opinion about a course of action you may wish to take, but you should keep in mind that you are you, and the only one who can actually make the choice for you is you. It can be extremely tempting to ask for someone’s opinion, follow their advice, then feel free to blame them if things do not turn out as you would have liked them to. This action you’ve chosen to take does two things: it spuriously absolves you of any responsibility for consequences of the action, though this may backfire if positive consequences ensue, and/or it creates an enmity or distance between you and the person whose advice you sought. In any case, if you develop the habit of claiming no responsibility for any of your actions the effects of doing so will primarily be felt by you, not others, in a negative way. You will be deprived of the satisfaction you can receive by making good choices, you will be deprived of learning opportunities, you will be deprived of the respect of others, and more. Isn’t owning your choices more positive than rejecting them?
Frequently when we have to, or feel we have to, say goodbye to someone or something we feel sad and bereft, as if life will never be the same again. Whether we continue on our way or not life will never be the same in any case; time marches on and we must do so also. But leaving or parting does not, and generally is not, a permanent thing. Rather than weeping oceans of tear, feeling sorry for ourselves at parting, or stamping the ground in anger for more than a few minutes it is better allow that quick expression of feelings, then move on to the next piece of life or person ahead of us, knowing that we have not said a final goodbye, but merely said sometime again, so long, or ’til next time. This offers us yet another chance at anticipation and positive planning, a brighter look at the future. And who wouldn’t want that?