There are many different ways to describe the word homemaker though the traditional one seems to still be defined as being a woman and staying at home with the couple’s children while the children are young. In addition, homemaker also seems to imply that that same woman also does all the housework, food shopping, gardening, and general handyman tasks. There are some who would quibble and say that we have much less rigid, in terms of gender roles, definitions of words like homemaker. That may be true, but for a large part of the population defining roles such as the homemaker’s role more fairly does not mean that they are performed more fairly. There are plenty of people who will defiantly say they are not going to change their values just to be politically correct and there are at least the same number, probably more, who will pay lip service to making a change toward equality who won’t really consider it for themselves or their family. Promoting equality of labor and duties in the home is quite difficult since home means so many different things, as do equality, duty, proportion, balance, and work outside the home must be taken into consideration too. Wouldn’t it be better to let the responsibility for defining ‘homemaker’ go back to those who are making the home?
To some degree or another we all are curious about things; curious about objects, living things, how things work, how minds work; in general we are curious about ourselves and the world around us. But to each one of us there are others who seem to have no curiosity at all and we have a hard time understanding how those others can go through life without a sense of wonder or pass by things that obviously need to be checked out, studied, and commented on. What we fail to appreciate or recognize is that these unobservant and incurious people look in directions we don’t think to and probably wonder why we are so lacking any inquisitiveness. Because everyone is curious in different ways and everyone sees things from their own point of view it is natural that they think that what they are curious about is what everyone else is curious about and cannot understand why, when they are excited about something new and strange to them, others aren’t just as excited. This is understandable since our world revolves around us, but in aid of understanding and growth we could at least attempt to be understanding about others’ interests, and even evince some interest in them ourselves. Don’t you think with a little effort we could enhance our own curiosity thereby promoting understanding?
There are times when we don’t feel we don’t have much, maybe only enough to just get by. And even that feels like nothing. So we want to hang on to whatever we’ve got and refuse to let go. However, with such mindless grasping we may lose sight of what it is we’re holding on to; and what we’re holding on to may slip more easily from that grasp, or, when human, may wish fervently to escape it. The very appearance of desperation tends to want to make people avoid it and you, for there is a real fear that, unreasonable as it is, such desperation is catching or that watching someone’s downfall is just too painful to contemplate. Hanging on to a career, lifestyle, or a grown child is just as pointless; hanging on because of fear of change or because you’re used to where you are allows for no personal growth or opportunities to open up for you. Releasing what is ready to be released or wants to be released may be frightening, but fright need not be paralyzing, it can be a tool to propel you forward so that you can open your heart and mind to things you had never imagined. Looking at opportunity is better than facing despair and loss isn’t it?
One of the most useful things we can do to alleviate uncomfortable or distressing situations or people is to ignore them. When we ignore small instances of facetiousness or loud tantrums, most likely the instigators of the disturbance will stop once they realize they are not getting the attention they desired. When we ignore someone who is ranting and raving on about something irrelevant to the situation, the hope is that they will stop, and think about what they are saying instead of continuing on with greater and greater separation from the point of the original discussion. We can also use ignoring as a matter of manners; when we see someone obviously embarrassed about an action or word of theirs, we can turn away and allow them to recover their equanimity rather than staring and flustering them further. This is not to say that to ignore an uncomfortable situation is always the way to handle one; in some situations ignoring is the worst thing to do. If we don’t use our powers of observation and assessment at a time we are tempted to ignore an action or words, we be contributing to the worsening of that same situation. We must look, assess, and make an informed choice about how to treat any volatile circumstances. Isn’t assessment better than always ignoring a situation or leaping into it with both feet?
Being mesmerized is a state that one can allow, but the choice must be made for and by oneself only. The same holds true if you are attempting to mesmerize others; if you find you have a mesmerizing power over them, the choice must be theirs whether or not they wish to continue with the process. Mesmerizing or hypnotizing can have very beneficial effects on a person, as in healing, relieving tension, or to reach another, more restful and energizing place in your mind. But being hypnotized can also lead to negative places besides leaving you in the power of another person. You must know that person very well before trusting your mind and body to him or her. The temptation to abuse the openness of another can be very strong since most people don’t feel they have much power over their own lives. You can also mesmerize yourself and feel the benefits of the mesmerized state with no risk, as long as you find a safe and comfortable place to use and to ensure you won’t be interrupted. In a trance state one is vulnerable even to oneself so it is best to go into the experience with a clear purpose in mind and to direct oneself to stay with that purpose. Don’t you think being mesmerized would be best to use with trust in yourself or another?
Being demure is all fine and good – as long as being demure doesn’t invade all aspects of your life. If your demureness leans to the reserved side of the definition you can still have the ability to stand up for yourself and your rights. If, however, your demureness toward the affected modesty side of the demure spectrum you may find you have a problem or two. When feigning modesty you may find yourself left behind during occasions or events you would really like to be part of as well as missing opportunities to interact with people you find interesting. Being reserved generally is a wait and watch position that can be changed at any time and is generally a true part of one’s personality. Affecting modesty is merely an act to bring attention to oneself. Shyness is a form of modesty that is also a part of one’s personality and usually not a wanted one; it is not affected, but can be a true barrier to longed for opportunities. It is almost always true that these very different aspects of being demure can be distinguished, that there is a place for each one, and people will react accordingly. Isn’t feeling demure more honest than affecting it?
Whether in times of adversity or in times of plenty there will always be something that is fruitful. It could be a plant, edible or not; it could be people, wise or not; it could be too plentiful, such as water or heat. In times of a lack of a certain fruit it would be wise to research the usefulness of another one; we may not understand or want, for one reason or another, to change our usage habits, but that may be the only way to go to ensure health and vitality. The reason for too little fruit of the edible kind is often people and the lack is generally restricted to certain geographical areas. Though one cannot dictate to others how their lives and communities should be run, it would be wise for these communities to take a look at how they are impacting their own lives by indiscriminately increasing the population. This may take educators and that may be the task of others outside the community. When there is too much of a good thing the most obvious and best plan for the extra is to share and distribute the excess to others who are in need. There are occasions where there may be too much water or too much sun and heat. Again, and with the scientific knowledge we now have we should be able to channel these excesses into help for others or into relief for the ones suffering. Isn’t it best to share the excesses and lacks of fruitfulness?