One hardly notices when evening begins fall in most cases. This is a real shame since the transformation from day to evening time, coming night is a fascinating and beautiful thing to watch and appreciate. It is also a time for thinking and wondering and allow awe to overcome our senses. As the evening progresses, the sky expands and one can feel one’s mind lose its conventional boundaries and, if we allow it, imagination can take over our dreary and worn out minds and welcome beauty and wonder in for at least a few moments. We can feel we’re expanding as the coming night sky is asserting itself. Not a bad place to be in.
When you’ve worked so hard and given it your all it seems a tragedy of epic proportions when some criticises your output or what you produced. If there’s even one person round when you do whatever you do, you know that some comment will be made. You resent anything other than positive critical comments. Then you remember ” If you can’t do it, teach it; if you can’t teach it, be a critic” and then you feel better. Then you remember some of the things you’ve said to others, maybe even unthinkingly, that could have made them feel just the way you have. Do you want to keep on blaming and castigating th critics?
If you choose to work alone is it because you think you can do anything all by yourself and want the sole credit for the work? Is it because you don’t like others and want to run things in only your way? Is it because you don’t want anyone to see what you’re doing? Or is it because the work only requires one to get it done quickly and efficiently, or to save others the trouble, or because you need some alone-time? Whatever the reason, isn’t it good to at least consider company while working?
We all, mostly, take for granted that there will separate entrances to women’s and men’s restrooms even if they turn out be co-ed, there are usually separate entrances to wherever an entertainment is taking place for guests and for employees, and there are separate entrances for deliveries and patrons of various establishments. As well, as we know, there have been, and still are, separate entrances for different races and people of different socio-economic backgrounds. People develop a repugnance for and a desire to change the door they are expected to use because of their assigned lower socio-economic status and/or so-called ‘inferior’ race therefore creating or reinforcing the belief that there is a real difference between different types of human beings. Because of the sensed or seen resentment thus dislike of the ‘entitled’ group its members try to become even more entrenched in their coveted positions and arm their defenses for use against the ‘rabble.’ Though there have been many attempts and some successes regarding the equalization of entrances and exits, the attitudes of both groups and many other instances of establishing and maintaining a divide between those with differing education, amounts of money, races, or perceived talent, don’t really change. Wouldn’t working toward accepting that we are all human beings, with no essential differences create an easier path for us to follow instead of bickering and fighting ourselves further apart?
There are a few questions we should ask ourselves if thoughts like the above pass through our minds upon arriving somewhere or entering a place be it the break room at work, a campsite, a room in your own residence. Having thoughts like that make it seem normal to assume us assume we are somehow unattractive, as if we haven’t washed, our clothing or ourselves, are ugly, or close to it, that we are repellant. Or we might feel that we are considered stupid or evil, stuck up or a door mat. We are capable of turning ourselves into quite unsavory characters based only the assumed opinions of others. What we are displaying is a lack of confidence, self-knowledge, or a lack of accurate interpretations, or all three and more. If the opinions of others mean much more to use than our own, we have only added to the problem and to our list of self-esteem and confidence issues. A way to help combat the feelings of rejection and feeling as if we’re not really part of any group is to first consult ourselves about ourselves. Once we feel good about how we look and feel about our appearance, and are satisfied, not terrified about entering a place or arriving somewhere, then we can work on extending those feelings to wherever we go. Don’t you think?
A lot of the time when we’ve worked incredibly hard, made difficult sacrifices, gone without those things we consider essential, and much more… we achieve our goal, we are on top of the world, and we have no one to share our triumph with. Not necessarily because we’ve alienated some people along the way, but because we have alienated ourselves; if we want to have sole ownership of the goal we’ve achieved, then we have to make one more sacrifice: we must be prepared to enjoy our triumph alone and refrain from talking about it to others who just can’t understand all the ramifications and who weren’t there anyway. Some of us can handle this well, by compartmentalizing or by not insisting on recognition and a permanent status change thus can move on to another goal. But some of us don’t handle endings well and want the kudos and recognition to go on and on, want to be treated differently or better, want this one achievement to be the sum total of all the effort needed in our lives and don’t even want to think of another goal. If you were to choose would you rather be lonely at the top forever for one achievement or to choose and achieve many goals feeling that loneliness briefly?