Some Photos & Fancies

Photographs; & questions you wouldn't think to ask yourself…


Everyone’s a critic

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When you’ve worked so hard and given it your all it seems a tragedy of epic proportions when some criticises your output or what you produced. If there’s even one person round when you do whatever you do, you know that some comment will be made. You resent anything other than positive critical comments. Then you remember ” If you can’t do it, teach it; if you can’t teach it, be a critic” and then you feel better. Then you remember some of the things you’ve said to others, maybe even unthinkingly, that could have made them feel just the way you have. Do you want to keep on blaming and castigating th critics?

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Lonely at the top

Lonely at the topA lot of the time when we’ve worked incredibly hard, made difficult sacrifices, gone without those things we consider essential, and much more… we achieve our goal, we are on top of the world, and we have no one to share our triumph with. Not necessarily because we’ve alienated some people along the way, but because we have alienated ourselves; if we want to have sole ownership of the goal we’ve achieved, then we have to make one more sacrifice: we must be prepared to enjoy our triumph alone and refrain from talking about it to others who just can’t understand all the ramifications and who weren’t there anyway. Some of us can handle this well, by compartmentalizing or by not insisting on recognition and a permanent status change thus can move on to another goal. But some of us don’t handle endings well and want the kudos and recognition to go on and on, want to be treated differently or better, want this one achievement to be the sum total of all the effort needed in our lives and don’t even want to think of another goal. If you were to choose would you rather be lonely at the top forever for one achievement or to choose and achieve many goals feeling that loneliness briefly?

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Disrupted plans

03-04-14 006aSometimes, maybe more than sometimes, or maybe it just seems that way, our plans get disrupted by forces beyond our influence. Such forces can include natural disasters, poor timing, temper, the ‘I really don’t feel like its,’ and the weather. All of these reasons are valid ones to cancel your participation in an event, large or small, or for you to cancel the entire occasion if you’re the one in charge. It’s even perfectly OK, and even understandable, to cancel or postpone things you are not ready for yet, perhaps a one-on-one conversation with a loved one. It is important to not get mad , especially at anyone, when an event is canceled that you really wanted to attend or that you had spent a lot more than money on. If there is nothing to be changed about the circumstances, there is no point in beating one’s head against a brick wall, knowing you are going to have bo effect whatsoever on what you are mad at or frustrated by. Better to take those energies and direct them to an alternative activity, one that is not only a substitute, but one you may ultimately find more enjoyable than the first. Isn’t it better to look away from a lost opportunity toward possibilities  than rant and rail at the lost one?

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When we pose we are constantly looking over our shoulders to see how we are being doing. Posing can show us at our best, but it can also show us at our worst. We may not know ourselves very well physically and may choose attire that is inappropriate or that shows up our worst points.  We may also be showing more than we would like to by the expression on our faces or the stance we take when we are posing. If we are aware that we are displaying ourselves and are doing so for a specific purpose it is easier to show exactly what one would like the world to see. If we pose as a central part of our lives we may not have any idea what we are conveying to the world and may not be aware that others are reading us and making judgments about us based upon what they see. If we are posing intellectually or emotionally we are doing ourselves more harm than good by attempting to change who we are; we may choose a model that is inappropriate to our basic personality or that is beyond our capacity to understand or emulate and lose track of ourselves in thought and deed. Certainty about who you are is much better than trying to create yourself in the image of someone else, isn’t it? 

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Taking a break

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When there is much to be done, more than we think there is time for, we frequently choose to forge ahead without taking breaks. This strategy may work for a while in the short term, but over the long run it will not. Failing to take breaks will not work if there is not time to get all work done and it will not work when there is time to finish whatever work there is. It may be even more important to take a break when there is no pressure on you to get things done than when that pressure is there. If there is an abundance of food to gather, or if there are things prepared and ready for putting together, or if required mental preparation has all been done, then taking a break to prepare oneself for the possibility of needed of work to be done more quickly, or searching done more thoroughly, is a wise choice to make. While taking a break can provide much needed rest from the frantic pace arising from large amounts of work to do, taking a break when one is bored from having too little to do can ensure that more of the little work to done is done well instead of haphazardly. Little work generally serves to lower the queality of work and breaks that one can use to focus on something a littly different than nothing can serve to refocus the mind. Aren’t breaks from relative leisure as necessary as breaks from overwork?

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Anything for me?

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We have all asked, without making any effort ourselves if there is anything ‘out there’ for me. Whether it’s food or a piece of mail, a treat or a caress, even a word or two, we anticipate the answer being yes. We expect at least a response and with a response we have gotten part of what we’ve asked for since, though it wasn’t spoken, part of what we’re asking is to be noticed. If we look we’ll find that we ask the question from behind some kind of shield, whether it be peering from behind a door, while looking down at something in our hands, or while the person we’re asking is involved in something. Most times we don’t want the world or that one person to know that we are feeling needy, at that particular time or at all times, so we hide behind our shield and a commonplace question. The need to hide the need is comfort only to ourselves because it is patently obvious to the one we’re addressing. But in this culture it is necessary to appear confident and in control at all times even though that cannot be true the majority of the time. But also in this culture appearances seem to be the end all and be all. Shouldn’t we be presenting our real feelings and needs to the world instead of losing support by appearing to be what we’re not?


Background music

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While the some performances are taking place, when there is a major event to attend, when there is a special time occurring, very often some background music serves to enhance those event’s quality. With the background music playing awkward pauses are avoided, small errors can be easily ignored, and the event itself highlighted. We have all been the one in the spotlight and we all have strong feelings about that, whether they are positive or negative. And we have been the background music as well; many of us feel more comfortable out of the spotlight, but feel good about performing a necessary complementary service. Some people would like to be and will maneuver to be in the spotlight all the time and don’t understand or won’t understand why others may not find their preference for the spotlight necessary or desirable. It is hard to dissuade these people from their aim inconspicuously, nevertheless the effort should be made. Others deserve their chance to be acknowledged, applauded, or sympathized with when they are the ones who have prepared, who have been delegated, or who have had an experience that singles them out for recognition. This applies especially to younger people, they need having the experience of being under the eyes of others, and without interfering guidance, in order to grow into confident young people. For us to take our places in the background is good discipline for us and can help us grow as well. Haven’t you felt proud to act as background music occasionally?