It can be fun and funny, workable and working to be part of a group of three and there can be much learned and much laughed at together whether the group is composed of mixed genders, mixed ages, or mixed cultures. However a group of three can also be one of the most awkward of groups to be included in for many reasons whether there is one separated from the others due to closer bonding of any kind between the pair, one of the pair feeling uncomfortable about the one excluded, or all three knowing that the time to part has passed, but no one has taken the steps to separate. It would be best and foster the least discomfort if even one of the group could acknowledge the uncomfortable feelings in themselves and take action to prevent their furtherance; this doesn’t mean that one should necessarily confront the others with their feelings, just that they recognize that it’s time to move on to other things and to suggest making plans for another time. This is not as easy as it sounds due to fact that people generally like to be part of a group and to feel wanted and needed in that group. But is also no accident that one of our most common clichés is “there’s a time and a place for everything.” Wouldn’t you rather be in a comfortable place than an awkward one?
We may not always be feeling our best, we may find ourselves in awkward or negative positions, we may have suffered losses of many different kinds, but in general we will not let allow ourselves to descend past certain standards of behavior, grooming, or thinking. Maintaining a self-defined standard in which our dignity and a positive self-esteem are assured is necessary for survival and for the opportunity to effect a change in our circumstances. The majority of people do not choose to wallow in cosmic woe but are trying to work their way toward ever more positive and uplifting places that will create and upward spiral of more and more ambitious goals that lead to better and better outcomes. If we manage to cling to our standards when we are at or approaching our lowest point we stand a good chance at being able to maintain those standards more easily or to lift the bar higher for ourselves when we’ve conquered some of our demons and achieved some of our goals. A benefit we most often have no idea of is in our example of what can be accomplished when one doesn’t let go of self-respect and when one doesn’t stop making an effort to create and reach goals, no matter how small or mundane they may be. Isn’t creating and maintaining a set of standards crucial to your self-respect and self-esteem?
When once one has seen a bigger part of the world than one’s own tiny piece, it becomes clear that one is not really larger than life and that one is not really the most important thing in the wider world; and it may occur to one that an occasion or two may come where a bit of protection is in order. One thing to remember is that protection does not mean being taken care of; nor does it mean that you will be protected from everything and anything. Being protected is not about being completely shielded from physical and mental danger either; it is about allowing one to see the danger and to learn from the circumstances so that you will be able to deal with that kind of situation again on your own. Being protected is also about having a glimmer of hope, for a protector should also include a bit of the mentor in their make up. It is not a good thing at all to come to rely on your protector to take all responsibility for you and your actions; you must remember and hold in your mind that your choices are your own and ultimately you are responsible for yourself. But it is nice to look down and see a larger than life reflection mirroring what you would like to become, isn’t it?
Toys are a fine thing to have, or to have the use of, for relaxation, learning, letting off steam and many other things. We all like some toys better than others, but a new toy is fun to experiment with, an old, familiar toy is a comfort and a friend, and a desired, but not yet acquired toy can be an incentive and a challenge. What we must remember is that objects are toys, living beings are not, and should never be considered so. If you damage, physically or emotionally, a living being you, or they, may not be able to repair that damage. When you purposely damage a non-living object, you may not be able to repair it, but the only living thing you may have damaged would have been yourself. This is no good thing either, but is less damaging to more parties, and may prompt you into a greater sense of responsibility than you displayed previously. We must decide when something can be considered a toy and when something is very definitely not a toy. Then we can make the choice whether to play games with an appropriate toy or risk damaging something that is not a toy at all. Would you choose not to choose, or would you choose to think before acting?
We all have reasons to feel proud of ourselves, we may have achieved a goal we have set ourselves or that someone else has set for us, we may, in company with a team, have overcome an obstacle or removed a barrier to success, or we may have made it through the day in the face of opposition. All of these victories, and more, are things that we should feel proud of. But pride, well-deserved pride, has acquired a negative connotation that it doesn’t always deserve. However, an excess of pride can, and should, be seen as harmful to others and, in time, detrimental to the prideful person. Those who are proud of themselves for undeserving reasons or feel proud that they are better than anyone else without justification give pride a bad name. With these bad examples, seen almost anywhere, it can feel embarrassing or dishonest to receive praise and recognition for the things we have done that we should feel proud of. When it comes to hiding our light under a bushel, thus fostering false modesty, we might consider again choose to accept accolades, and most importantly, acknowledge to ourselves that we have done something admirable, handled a bad situation well, that we are really good people. Wouldn’t you like to feel pride in yourself without guilt?
No matter how open and above-board one may seem to be there are hidden depths that stay unplumbed by others. Usually a friend or family member will be let in on one or two hidden attributes or events in your life, and maybe a different one will be let in on others; but very rarely is one person aware of all the depths of a person’s being. In fact it is relatively rare for a person to be aware of all of their own depths since people are not always fond of or willing to participate in self-exploration. Truly, some things really should remain private, possibly even from oneself. Something one finds, especially when meeting new people or making new friends, is that there is a part or aspect of you that you may have forgotten or taken so much for granted that you are surprised when someone else mentions seeing it. It is important to keep in mind all of your parts and pieces because all of your parts and pieces are what make you you. If you are dependent upon someone else to remind you of your characteristics, strengths, and weaknesses you aren’t really being a very good friend to yourself or letting yourself work or play to your capacity. It is a fine thing to share yourself with others, and share more of yourself with closer friends and family, but it is equally fine that there are parts of you that only you can or should know for your own well-being. A little non-toxic mystery can be interesting and fun. Don’t you like to keep a bit of yourself for yourself only?