We may not always be feeling our best, we may find ourselves in awkward or negative positions, we may have suffered losses of many different kinds, but in general we will not let allow ourselves to descend past certain standards of behavior, grooming, or thinking. Maintaining a self-defined standard in which our dignity and a positive self-esteem are assured is necessary for survival and for the opportunity to effect a change in our circumstances. The majority of people do not choose to wallow in cosmic woe but are trying to work their way toward ever more positive and uplifting places that will create and upward spiral of more and more ambitious goals that lead to better and better outcomes. If we manage to cling to our standards when we are at or approaching our lowest point we stand a good chance at being able to maintain those standards more easily or to lift the bar higher for ourselves when we’ve conquered some of our demons and achieved some of our goals. A benefit we most often have no idea of is in our example of what can be accomplished when one doesn’t let go of self-respect and when one doesn’t stop making an effort to create and reach goals, no matter how small or mundane they may be. Isn’t creating and maintaining a set of standards crucial to your self-respect and self-esteem?
When one is all washed up and finding that it just might be too much effort to go on one tends to want to kick and stomp and yell about life’s unfairness. Although one may be admired kicking and stomping for a while the tantrum soon becomes something to be avoided by others. There can be a more graceful and dignified way to go about being unhappy at one’s state. Rational explanations and concrete facts about your state of being and state of mind will earn much more respect, help and company and these are the things we need most when we’re in extremis or in crisis. Pity will not accomplish anything visible or viable to help one emerge from serious or critical troubles. Sympathy will make you feel better able to cope and allows for a two-way street, where you can possibly assist your sympathizer in some way.
Upon reaching that point where it is patently obvious that there will be no further change in a critical position one must handle that position with dignity. When faced with unchangeable consequences one should allow all the help others are willing to give and give up on any stoicism one has exhibited up until this point. Many times our friends and family feel helpless in the face of serious or critical situations and want nothing more than to be able to offer some help or support. You are not giving in by accepting that help or support and it is really more dignified to accept offered succor with grace. Grace and dignity will appear in different aspects for everyone but never as rejection, whining, or contempt. Those who recognize and confront the fact of the fear and uncertainty of most things generally prefer to face that fear and uncertainty in company. Though it may hurt your pride, wouldn’t you rather accept your circumstances with grace and dignity?