When all the fuss is over, when you’ve made plans, then completed them, when you’ve anticipated for such a long time… it’s hard for the event to have ended, whether it went well or badly. For no matter how emphatically we tell ourselves that we are creating no expectations, that we will not anticipate the reactions of others, that we will be prepared for any eventuality, we are not. No matter how much or how well we plan we are still dealing with people and people’s reactions cannot be accurately predicted; nor can their actions or their own plans. We can tell ourselves that we have no idea what others may be planning for us either; but we will have thought about it, and we can be disappointed if plans or gifts do not quite match what we’ve vigorously denied is in our head. Most of all we feel let down; our energy, creativity, and anticipation have nowhere to go for the time just after the longed-for event, because it’s gone, until we bestir ourselves to find something to look forward to and let the event just past stay there, in the past, leaving good memories and bringing lasting feelings of goodwill. Doesn’t recalling the memories of an event help to blow away the malaise of let down?
At the end of the day we may tend to feel all washed up; that our potential and talents have been used to their utmost but we haven’t seemed to accomplish much – and we know we have to start again and do it all over again, to the best of our abilities, tomorrow. We can end up feeling used, even by ourselves, and that life’s lustre has become dull; that life itself is dull. We’ve been tossed to and fro, with no apparent control of the situations where find ourselves and left immobile and unable to put a coherent thought together. It is possible to avoid at least some of these feelings, though a good wallow in woe can be valuable at times, through our own self-directed thoughts, that can lead to action, that leads to more thinking and planning. Instead of letting circumstances toss us like a salad, we can look around to see where we are, choose a direction, and go. Instead of abrogating all responsibility for ourselves we can choose to speak up about how we feel and what we want. Instead of lying empty and used like a shell on a beach we can choose interest in the world around us and make a specific place for ourselves. Shouldn’t we be making our own choices for our own selves?