One hardly notices when evening begins fall in most cases. This is a real shame since the transformation from day to evening time, coming night is a fascinating and beautiful thing to watch and appreciate. It is also a time for thinking and wondering and allow awe to overcome our senses. As the evening progresses, the sky expands and one can feel one’s mind lose its conventional boundaries and, if we allow it, imagination can take over our dreary and worn out minds and welcome beauty and wonder in for at least a few moments. We can feel we’re expanding as the coming night sky is asserting itself. Not a bad place to be in.
It can be fun and funny, workable and working to be part of a group of three and there can be much learned and much laughed at together whether the group is composed of mixed genders, mixed ages, or mixed cultures. However a group of three can also be one of the most awkward of groups to be included in for many reasons whether there is one separated from the others due to closer bonding of any kind between the pair, one of the pair feeling uncomfortable about the one excluded, or all three knowing that the time to part has passed, but no one has taken the steps to separate. It would be best and foster the least discomfort if even one of the group could acknowledge the uncomfortable feelings in themselves and take action to prevent their furtherance; this doesn’t mean that one should necessarily confront the others with their feelings, just that they recognize that it’s time to move on to other things and to suggest making plans for another time. This is not as easy as it sounds due to fact that people generally like to be part of a group and to feel wanted and needed in that group. But is also no accident that one of our most common clichés is “there’s a time and a place for everything.” Wouldn’t you rather be in a comfortable place than an awkward one?
There are always at least two combatants when people, athletic teams, countries, and more are challenged, one by another; what is hard to remember (and people usually don’t want to remember) is that the opposition is made up of people just as human as you, or any other person. By humanizing your opponent you tend to weaken yourself or blunt the edge of your aggressive behavior; which is something you cannot afford to do if you wish to come out ahead in the conflict. You may not even know what the conflict is about, and may not care anyway, leaving the tactics, strategy, and decision-making to others. But you know that if the “bad guys” haven’t been labeled as such and demoted, in your head, to either ‘not real’ or ‘not human’ status, you won’t perform at your highest peak. Once everyone, opponents included, are seen to hurt and bleed like you, love and care for their families like you, and to have dreams and goals like you, the differences between you don’t seem so great. However there are those who don’t understand humanity or everyday people, and want political or ultimate power or a legacy for themselves. To check or halt these people we must sometimes resort to war and violence and it is admirable and amazing how the foot soldiers on all sides retain their humanity, compassion, and reverence for all human life. I honor all those who serve their countries now and who have served in the past, don’t you?
One of the most useful things we can do to alleviate uncomfortable or distressing situations or people is to ignore them. When we ignore small instances of facetiousness or loud tantrums, most likely the instigators of the disturbance will stop once they realize they are not getting the attention they desired. When we ignore someone who is ranting and raving on about something irrelevant to the situation, the hope is that they will stop, and think about what they are saying instead of continuing on with greater and greater separation from the point of the original discussion. We can also use ignoring as a matter of manners; when we see someone obviously embarrassed about an action or word of theirs, we can turn away and allow them to recover their equanimity rather than staring and flustering them further. This is not to say that to ignore an uncomfortable situation is always the way to handle one; in some situations ignoring is the worst thing to do. If we don’t use our powers of observation and assessment at a time we are tempted to ignore an action or words, we be contributing to the worsening of that same situation. We must look, assess, and make an informed choice about how to treat any volatile circumstances. Isn’t assessment better than always ignoring a situation or leaping into it with both feet?