Sometimes we feel left behind, that others are moving along ahead of us; that they now know more, are more oriented and having more fun. That they are satisfied and that we are not and don’t know how become satisfied. We may set ourselves apart even more by becoming distant or avoiding contact with those closest to us and thus confusing both. Speaking up about how we feel lost in everyone’s wake or disconnected from everything familiar because it is all changing can clarify the issues in our minds, but we have to be willing to accept that we cannot live in a static world because our world is not static; it is dynamic and we must at least watch and follow along or we will likely feel disconnected and left a step behind until we become dynamic ourselves. This is not to say that we are not left behind occasionally, sometimes being left behind is inevitable we all die; what we must remember about that is that we, in our turn, will be leaving others behind. Sometimes it is best in any kind of relationship to leave each other behind if beliefs and goals changed or rates or directions of growth have diverged. It could be that being left behind or leaving another behind would be the best thing that could happen now, don’t you think?
Sometimes we shake our heads and look around and wonder how happened to get where we are. Sometimes this is fine: we’ve had a chance to turn off our brains, relax, and drift with the flow, secure that we have no worries at the moment and won’t have them when we arrive wherever we’ve drifted either. We may even make some contacts that we will want to keep up with when we return to the regular rhythm of our days and that may become friends. However, although we may become relaxed, and lax, about our thinking and feeling, we cannot do so to the detriment of our usual lives; inevitably our usual lives are connected in one way or another with others’ lives; inevitably we must clothe and feed ourselves, and our family, if we have one. We must remain responsible for ourselves and our livelihood. So, while we must let go, drift, and unwind for a while; we must also hold on, stay on course, and wind up as well. The challenge is to maintain a balance between the two, to be able to recognize when drifting is called for and when buckling down becomes the priority. Do you think you have a handle on that balance?
There are few things we can’t weasel our way out of some way or another; gravity is one of those things. Much as we cling to the illusion of youth, a favorite place or structure, or our attempt to catch something at the beginning of its fall, eventually we cannot do so. Gravity is one of the things we have absolutely no control over, and that could be a very good thing since human beings seem to have no control over the urge to conflict. And we need gravity to exist at all. We may hold back the inevitable for a moment or two, maybe for what seems like a long period of time, but indubitably we will all succumb to gravity. Even in 0-gravity conditions we feel the effects of the loss of gravity and cannot survive long without tremendous stress and damage to our systems. Though none of like to face the fact that there are things we have no choice in, it is best to accept that, including gravity, we are at the mercy of the universe. Isn’t it better to make the best of what we have rather than trying to change the immutable?
Sometimes we get so involved in whatever it is that we are thinking and doing that we don’t pay attention to where we’re going, if we’re moving, or to where our thoughts or emotions may lead us, if the momentum is in our heads. This might turn out just fine if we have considered and planned our course of action ahead of time, but there are times we find ourselves in places we didn’t believe we were going or in emotional places we thought we had planned to avoid. Random movements occur when we are not paying attention to ourselves and the world around us and/or when we find ourselves in a situation we don’t know how to get out of or change. Resorting to randomness is very seldom effective and can be harmful. It indicates an inability to plan and make choices about what is really best for ourselves or the lack of enough determination to even make a choice. Ultimately no one is going to make our choices for us, and we really can’t count on flailing about in a random manner to find us a reliable direction take, so it’s best to rein ourselves in, take stock, and stick to a plan we’ve devised for ourselves. Why not removes random chance from most of your life (a little can be fun)?
We all go through life leaving bits and pieces of ourselves everywhere around us to be found by anyone who comes across them; we are generally unaware that we do so since the majority of the legacies we leave behind we leave unknowingly. They may be a piece of litter or a $100 bill; a kind word or a curse; a gift of understanding and compassion or neglect and indifference. Some legacies we leave deliberately and, in general, these are things meant to help or educate those coming along behind us. It is the ones we leave though ignorance or unawareness of the impact we can have on others that can do damage. We must be aware that everything we do and say will or might be something that others will consider our true opinions and feelings about those around us or our surroundings. With this awareness we can judge what we do and say to be sure that we are leaving an accurate record and can alleviate misunderstandings. What is left of after we are gone, for a trip or forever, is all that will be remembered of us and if we care at all about how we’re thought of we’ll make careful choices about what we leave behind. Wouldn’t you rather be remembered in a positive way than as a negative person?
Our wants and needs sometimes seem ephemeral and not quite real; it feels as if others, and we, treat our wants and needs as merely transitory or ignore them completely. This is damaging…without affirmation or acknowledgement we may begin to drift rather than follow our goals and dreams. When our ideas and dreams don’t seem to have taken on weight and solidity is it much easier to lose track of them and thus lose them for good and for real. We need to have dreams and goals and dreams of goals to give our lives a direction and meaning. When the goals have floated away on the wind we are lost and stumbling into a void that appears more permanent than the hopes previously held dear. The fleeting nature of a thought that began as a passing fancy can blossom and grow with acknowledgement and encouragement from others, and ourselves, and may give our lives a turn for the better. Or possibly a turn for the worse that could hold within in it a lesson we needed to learn. We cannot afford to treat these currently insubstantial desires as something impossible to expand and achieve for ourselves or others. Ephemeral urges can be acted on, the search for that passing what-if thought can be begun and the what-if thought evaluated for its worth and possibility. If we ignore all these subtle hints coming from our deepest selves it may be too late to retrieve the vestige of an idea of what they might have been. Isn’t it better to search for these elusive thoughts than to allow them to drift away with no effort to pin them down for examination?