We all, mostly, take for granted that there will separate entrances to women’s and men’s restrooms even if they turn out be co-ed, there are usually separate entrances to wherever an entertainment is taking place for guests and for employees, and there are separate entrances for deliveries and patrons of various establishments. As well, as we know, there have been, and still are, separate entrances for different races and people of different socio-economic backgrounds. People develop a repugnance for and a desire to change the door they are expected to use because of their assigned lower socio-economic status and/or so-called ‘inferior’ race therefore creating or reinforcing the belief that there is a real difference between different types of human beings. Because of the sensed or seen resentment thus dislike of the ‘entitled’ group its members try to become even more entrenched in their coveted positions and arm their defenses for use against the ‘rabble.’ Though there have been many attempts and some successes regarding the equalization of entrances and exits, the attitudes of both groups and many other instances of establishing and maintaining a divide between those with differing education, amounts of money, races, or perceived talent, don’t really change. Wouldn’t working toward accepting that we are all human beings, with no essential differences create an easier path for us to follow instead of bickering and fighting ourselves further apart?
We tend to think of illusion or illusions as things that are professionally practiced and that we novices can enjoy as a novelty. We look at the grand gestures and the bold claims made by the illusionists or magicians with envy, since we never think of expressing ourselves so blatantly or merrily. But we, all of us, are likely the best illusionists of all because we tend to live in our own shadows, believing that our shadow is the true measure us and encompasses all that we are. We are certainly extremely talented at hiding under our shadows pretending that there is nothing out there that can hurt us or that will get to us. Because this is so we are always surprised when something does not go or end the way we expected it to. If we were to peek out from our most convenient shelter we might find that we would like taking charge of our own lives; we might like making our shadow follow us instead of huddling in its dubious comfort. The real trick is not an illusion, it is learning to invite other people past your shadow and into your world, keeping your shadow as a well-loved adjunct. Isn’t it more comfortable to be ourselves than only act that way?
Frustration is one the most, if not the most, aggravating feelings there is. If you let your feelings at being frustrated show you are castigated or laughed at; if you keep them inside your anger and helplessness escalate. You may feel you can’t ask for help if the task seems easy and others are watching; you can’t let it go for the same reason. Being frustrated is a strong, private thing that just happens to usually be very public, which means that we can have a difficult time restraining our emotions even though they tend to run extremely strongly. No one likes to feel incompetent or thwarted. What we can do is to step back, relax our shoulders, and take a deep breath, meanwhile ignoring, not even looking at what has frustrated us. If we step back we may be able to see the situation in a whole new light and either see a solution or be able to let it go. Whatever it is, it is not worth wasting time better spent more productively. Once we’ve stepped back and gotten a wider perception of what is transpiring, we may choose to direct our efforts toward something that is more suited to our abilities. Why keep on trying to do something we are clearly not suited for?
Expressions such as “If I didn’t have bad luck I’d have no luck at all” or “I’m just a lucky gal/guy” or “it’s my lucky day” abound in our society. We attribute good luck or ill luck to some unknown outside agency that controls the granting or withholding of every person’s wants and needs. When we are blessed with a trouble-free period in our life and positive people and events seem to drop into our laps we “thank our lucky starts” or bask in others’ envy of our “streak of good luck.” We claim no credit for these occurrences and acquisitions, yet truly, we are the agency behind each one. When we are cursed by obstacles and losses surrounding us from every side we tend to think that “luck is not on our side” or that “bad luck just follows me around.?” We do not blame ourselves for the negative things happening to us and around us, we cast blame elsewhere, Either kind of luck is no more than random elements coming together around us; we make the choices about how to react to these random elements; we are the ones who make the choice to prepare ourselves for contingencies and we are the ones who do not do so. Isn’t it more honest for us to take the credit or the blame for our own actions?