There are a few questions we should ask ourselves if thoughts like the above pass through our minds upon arriving somewhere or entering a place be it the break room at work, a campsite, a room in your own residence. Having thoughts like that make it seem normal to assume us assume we are somehow unattractive, as if we haven’t washed, our clothing or ourselves, are ugly, or close to it, that we are repellant. Or we might feel that we are considered stupid or evil, stuck up or a door mat. We are capable of turning ourselves into quite unsavory characters based only the assumed opinions of others. What we are displaying is a lack of confidence, self-knowledge, or a lack of accurate interpretations, or all three and more. If the opinions of others mean much more to use than our own, we have only added to the problem and to our list of self-esteem and confidence issues. A way to help combat the feelings of rejection and feeling as if we’re not really part of any group is to first consult ourselves about ourselves. Once we feel good about how we look and feel about our appearance, and are satisfied, not terrified about entering a place or arriving somewhere, then we can work on extending those feelings to wherever we go. Don’t you think?
Most of the time we are capable of making everyday-day type and minor decisions easily. There are times, however, that we become paralyzed by indecision and find ourselves stranded in stasis, not knowing whether or how to go forward, backward, to the side, or nowhere at all. We are unable to decide what the best action is for things as insignificant as opening the door with right hand or left, sitting one place or another, or saying hello or hi. Once one runs into a crossroads, whether major or minor, we all know that we cannot go down more than one road at once, even though it would be nice to do so at times. We also know a decision must be made, but knowing that, and knowing that a decision must be made soon tends to put us into some version of a panic, which makes it even harder to choose a direction to go. At these times it is best to fall back and do a mental reset on oneself; this does not need to be anything major, perhaps only stopping and taking a deep breath to clear one’s mind, but large or small decision point, a clearing of the mind is necessary before one can move forward with confidence or in a restored routine. Isn’t it better to act from clarity than forge on blindly
Frustration is one the most, if not the most, aggravating feelings there is. If you let your feelings at being frustrated show you are castigated or laughed at; if you keep them inside your anger and helplessness escalate. You may feel you can’t ask for help if the task seems easy and others are watching; you can’t let it go for the same reason. Being frustrated is a strong, private thing that just happens to usually be very public, which means that we can have a difficult time restraining our emotions even though they tend to run extremely strongly. No one likes to feel incompetent or thwarted. What we can do is to step back, relax our shoulders, and take a deep breath, meanwhile ignoring, not even looking at what has frustrated us. If we step back we may be able to see the situation in a whole new light and either see a solution or be able to let it go. Whatever it is, it is not worth wasting time better spent more productively. Once we’ve stepped back and gotten a wider perception of what is transpiring, we may choose to direct our efforts toward something that is more suited to our abilities. Why keep on trying to do something we are clearly not suited for?
There are times when we feel that the only thing sharp about us is our shadow. Clear thinking, incisive judgments, emotional clarity, and even sharp dressing, have all been swept away by fatigue, ceaseless monotony, dull repetitiveness, lack of initiative, or pain. Perhaps, though, we can use our shadows to alleviate some of these symptoms and the resultant enervation. Just a glance at your shadow shows you that there is something incisive about you – your solid, sharply defined contours. Your shadow is just as unique as yourself and can serve as a reminder of that uniqueness; that you may be observing and remarking on it in your head, or maybe even aloud, can easily serve to remove your mind from your mundane or troubled existence. Looking at yourself without actually looking at your physical body can also allow for observation without the sense of vanity, the sense of self-absorption, or the sense of self-denigration some may feel when looking in a mirror or at a picture of themselves. A sharp silhouette can sharpen us up simply by being a reminder that we are real and substantial, or we couldn’t be interrupting the light. And shadows are fun to play with too, don’t you think?
Living your life as a spy or spying for a living must be an incredibly lonely and unsatisfying way of life. From a fair number of people’s points of view spies are always looking in from the outside and never get a chance to feel they belong. Although spying may bring you great observational skills and a fantastic memory how could you ensure that they would be used in positive ways. Once the habit of spying is developed, it seems that habit would begin to, and eventually, permeate all aspects of your life. There are times and those of us who may spy only upon one or two occasions; such as when we feel we’ve been wronged or hurt and we would like to find a way to get back at someone or have something to alleve our hurt. Or we may want to spy on someone to see how they’ve managed something that we haven’t and that we would like to accomplish. There is not really any kind of positive reason to spy on anyone in ordinary life. If we would like to know something we should be direct and ask; if we would like to get back at someone we should examine our motives and opt for another route to feeling better. Direct confrontation of problems and people is better than underhanded behavior, isn’t?B
We all do it, we all do it hundreds of times each day. We have to swallow to eat and drink and to clear the saliva from our mouths. We swallow in fear, in pain, in surprise, and in wonder. But there are things that it is much harder to swallow yet we are asked to do so every day. We’re asked to swallow acceptance of injustice and the injurious decisions made by thoughtless politicians. We’re asked to swallow the perpetuation of atrocities, the formidable burdens placed on us as citizens of ‘civilized’ nations, and the lies of our ‘leaders.’ These indigestible chunks are fearsome and incomprehensible but can be put aside for more immediate and personal concerns. It is much harder to swallow being faced with an unfair workload or a constant diet of anger as well as lies. But it is also easier to make a choice to not swallow these more immediate visible servings of ire and neediness. We must step back and stop swallowing everything we see, hear, and feel. Once we’ve stopped, then we can evaluate the situation or situations, then we can choose what we’re allowing down our gullet and what we’ll leave by the wayside.By not swallowing patent untruths or unconscionable situations to occur in our smaller, personal circle we can begin to attack larger concerns. Isn’t it better to look before you swallow?
When we are beginning our day, especially if we know that it may be a stressful or intense one, we might consider taking a bit of time to reflect upon what really is upcoming; and reflect upon and internalize calm, contented feelings. It is easier to face stressful and hectic situations in a calm way by starting from a firm base of confidence and tranquility. Once we’ve grounded ourselves and taken on the idea of the responsibilities and tasks of the day we have them half-conquered already. Most surprises or unexpected twists and turns to the day can be dealt with prior to their happening if we hone our minds to sharpness by rising a touch earlier than usual to prepare oneself for almost any eventuality. When we’re running late and must hurriedly dress and run out the door we are thrown out of our usual routine and this can lead to disaster. Not only has our routine been hugely disturbed, we try to get back to it and usually fail by trying too hard to do so. Once one thing does not go our way we put ourselves in the path of mishap since we are no longer in places at times we are used to. Whether we meditate formally or stick to a set routine, we are better for both or either during our everyday lives. Doesn’t a calm, thoughtful beginning to the day lead to a more satisfying end to it?