Support by objects is something we perceive in different ways, but is something that we all need, and use, at some times and in some situations. For some people it is easier to use some sort of material reinforcement, such as a walking stick or a wall to keep themselves upright rather than having someone offer aid or their arm. Pride or independence can be a factor in the type of reinforcement one might choose and that might also be a factor affecting one’s self-esteem. However those attributes cannot be effective when attempting to keep the elements or an attack at bay – then one must choose what seems to be the most effective support for the situation and trust in whatever you’ve chosen as your bulwark. Sometimes one can be surprised at where and how reinforcement arrives; it may be a provident root to grasp, a dolphin in the right place at the right time, or a book opening at just the right page. Though we shouldn’t rely on synchronistic or providential props for our problems, it is good to know there is other reinforcement available, especially if we pay attention and plan for it. Isn’t it good to know that support is available almost anywhere if we but look for it?
Through chance, our error, someone else’s error, or misunderstanding we have all prepared for, in many different ways, an event or encounter that never ensues. We have made an effort to learn what would be appropriate to wear, to bring, to say at this party, job interview, or first date and find our unsaid words stuck in our throats, our gifts lying unopened and unwanted, and that we are wearing something too good or fancy to lazing around home wearing. We feel forlorn and abandoned, left out and rejected; alone. But this extra time can be considered as a gift from out of the blue and we can make anything we like out of it. We can leave our finery on and have a party for one, we can leap into a work-related project, if we really feel that is necessary, we can get together with someone we know we’d rather be spending time with anyway. Or we can take this gift of time to rest and revitalize, to reconnect with ourselves, to embrace this time as an opportuity for unrestricted enjoyment. We can make a choice to repine and lament or to release guilt and let go of care. Doesn’t it sound better to create a positive time than to embrace the negative?
We are a species that appreciates and actively works to be surrounded by symmetry; if there is a right side to something, there must be a left; if a certain amount has been given to ‘a,’ then the same amount must be given to ‘b;’ if a piece of art looks wrong to us, it’s because too much or too little of a thing on one side or the other. What we strive for in and outside our minds is a balance; a balance not skewed to one side or the other, but a balance indicating that there is no danger of falling down or shooting up in a precipitate manner. We’d rather maintain the status quo than to rock the boat, though there are always some willing to shake things up to see what will happen or to jar loose fresh ideas or ways of looking at things. This can be a boon if we have become complacent or set in our ways or glued to one routine just because it is a routine. But it is important to look at all sides of an endeavor, large or small, and once you’ve done that, a choice can be made whether or not to maintain symmetry or opt for a therapeutic change. Wouldn’t you rather make a choice than follow blind routine?
When we see someone enjoying themselves, having a good time we want to join in or we want at least to start having a good time ourselves we become envious. When see that someone has something we had never thought of, or never thought anyone in our group might have, we want one. We are prompted by our senses to develop a longing for things we don’t or can’t have; and we are prompted by our feelings, such as envy to desire these things. However, it is important to remember that we can’t always join in when we’d like to and we can’t always have what we want to. Even though, inside, we know we can’t take part in or possess these things, we nevertheless try to. Frequently we try by asking what comes down to, me too? Rarely we received what we ask from others, but if we’re really asking the question of ourselves we may have a chance at successfully obtaining what we set out to gain. Only in ourselves and our evaluations of our true wants and needs can we find a truly satisfactory outcome to our desires. If we depend upon others to fully support us or to gives things merely because we ask we haven’t developed much knowledge or insight into ourselves. Isn’t consulting ourselves and saying ‘me too’ more satisfactory than asking ‘me too?’?.
Whether we like it or not we are all dependent upon another or on others at times during our lives. This occurs most obviously during our earliest days and our latest ones. During our earliest days we aren’t aware of being dependent, only of the desire and urgency behind our basic needs. We can’t even know the meaning of dependency; as we grow older we begin to fight against dependency and can focus only on the time when we will be able to make all our decisions on our own and to have around us only those people or things that are important to us at the time. Dependency becomes bad word and concept to and we don’t recognize the positive aspects of dependency that help us grow as thinking and caring human beings. For as we give others help and ask nothing in return we are robbing ourselves of the joy of feeling loved and robbing givers of the joy of giving. Once we learn to take with grace, not relinquishing our giving, we open ourselves to a fuller and more balanced life. Then, when or if we become more dependent on others, we know that they will not feel that giving to us is a burden, but a mutual and natural expression of give and take. Isn’t being able to both give and take more equitable to all?
Need can overtake us upon occasion so strongly that we attempt to do things or to acquire things we would normally leave alone. If, however, we find something wholly irresistible, we may take a chance and gamble that we will come out on top of our game and end up with what we pursued as an essential need at the time. There are needs other than a need for a specific thing too; we have a need for beauty, for strength, for a break; the catalog of needs is a never-ending one and each individual’s catalog should not be ignored. Our needs and wants make up the core of our personality and can be both positive and negative. The negative needs should not be ignored but should be recognized, worked with, and transformed to positive needs with a positive outcome. This transformation can help one to recognize more positive needs that can be acted upon and used for positive good for oneself as well as for others. Having a recognized need has the power to be used as a spur to oneself to make the necessary effort ro recognize it and that example of effort may spur others on to do the same. But the recognition of a need can be problematic; you may simply feel uncomfortable or certain that you meant to do something or have the niggling sensation at the back of your brain that says something is not quite done. Slowing down enough to really take a look at those feelings may bring you enlightenment about a new or old and unrecognized need. Stopping to evaluate that need and fulfilling it can lead you to an enduring satisfaction or to realize that your focus must be removed from that particular need. Rather than indiscriminately acting on all our needs we would be best served by allowing ourselves time to reflect. Would you really like all your needs to be met?
Leftovers are merely that, left over. They’re not inferior or left behind for a specific reason. However much one has tried, sometimes one feels one is only a leftover and feels sad. Being sad may not be the way to handle that feeling of being left over and of no use to anyone any more. After all, when there is food left over from a meal or a function of some kind the leftovers are often considered the best – for making into later meals, for donating to those in need, for providing a cleanup job and food for the underemployed. There are even leftovers in the outdoors as with these berries from last summer; though they look like they’re shedding tears they show that the birds and other animals have had enough to eat and have left them in reserve for harsher times. You may feel you’ve been abandoned as useless or out of date however you and the best parts of you may have been left in reserve to have or call upon in a time of real need. Leftover is not left out or left behind; thus being leftover should not be a sad thing. You can revel knowing that others are saving the best for last, are counting on you to be there when the need arises. Having looked at leftovers in a positive way you may find other leftovers, of many kinds, much more attractive and useful to you. Isn’t conserving by making use of all kinds of leftovers prudent for our planet?