When you’re in need of a bit of time off, when you want to have a bit of time to think, maybe plan, maybe rest, when you want to sleep without being wakened; these are some of the times we will go to almost any lengths to ensure our small bit f privacy. We will hide from our employer in sickness or elaborate excuses; at all ages we will hide from school in a group of friends, extracurricular activities, or new relationships – and if we’re parents the applies; we will hide from our families with smiles and top=heavy hugs and bland platitudes. There seems to be a general consensus that it is not OK to indulge in some bits of privacy here and there. So we get caught up in the games surrounding the acquisition of and loss of personal privacy, which should be no one’s business except our own. We all deserve the right to retreat from whatever we would like to, whenever we would like to, with no questions asked. unfortunately that is unlikely to happen, at least the no questions part, because we want to and we do let people inside our personal bubbles and give them permission for some things. Dictating our personal privacy time and place should not be one of those things we give a way, should it?
Some people say it is always a mistake to look back while other say one must look back in order to know how to go forward. Both can be true, even at the same time. What tends to make a difference in whether one will be progressing forward or slipping backward is in one’s own personality and learning style. While most of us would prefer to move forward and to make progress on goals and wants, there are a few of us who would rather have the attention that failure gives than to admit to any goals or wants. These people bemoan the fact that it is difficult to move forward and the path is strewn with obstacles or they stop to mourn their failures, ask for sympathy, and never start moving again. These are choices they’ve chosen to make, but those of us who have made the choice to continue forging on should not stop to sympathize for long or to give a hand to someone who doesn’t really want it, who just wants the attention. We can stop to look back with curiosity and an a-ha or two, but we can also choose to turn and face forward again. Wouldn’t you prefer to look forward to new and dreamed of things than to always look back and constantly trip what is in front of you?
Through chance, our error, someone else’s error, or misunderstanding we have all prepared for, in many different ways, an event or encounter that never ensues. We have made an effort to learn what would be appropriate to wear, to bring, to say at this party, job interview, or first date and find our unsaid words stuck in our throats, our gifts lying unopened and unwanted, and that we are wearing something too good or fancy to lazing around home wearing. We feel forlorn and abandoned, left out and rejected; alone. But this extra time can be considered as a gift from out of the blue and we can make anything we like out of it. We can leave our finery on and have a party for one, we can leap into a work-related project, if we really feel that is necessary, we can get together with someone we know we’d rather be spending time with anyway. Or we can take this gift of time to rest and revitalize, to reconnect with ourselves, to embrace this time as an opportuity for unrestricted enjoyment. We can make a choice to repine and lament or to release guilt and let go of care. Doesn’t it sound better to create a positive time than to embrace the negative?
When we look into, watch others looking into, or observe anything placed in front of a mirror, or any other reflective surface, we assume that that mirror is showing us an exact representation of ourselves, others, or anything else found in front of it. While we know intellectually that there can never really be a completely faithful mirror image portrayed due to imperfections in the reflective surface, the light source, and other outside factors, what we usually fail to take into account is that our halves don’t match and that we don’t generally perform a complete inspection of our selves or our apparel so that when we look in a mirror we are often taken a little aback by what we see. We also tend not to scrutinize objects or other people closely enough that a mirror image will be close enough to identify them.
We stumble over the matter of perception almost every time we look at and make judgements about a mirror image. We may think we know what we look like, but there have been many times that we’ve glanced in a mirror and wondered who that stranger was standing there; or have looked in a rearview mirror and not been able to judge the distance from or make out what kind of car we see there; or reached for a vegetable in the market and bump our hand against the glass. Unlike looking in a pond or a puddle that we know has ripples and other distortions, we make assumptions about man-made reflections when should look at all reflections with a grain of salt or with admiration for the artistic license taken by these inanimate objects. Wouldn’t honing observational skills help us modify our assumptions?
We can look at a being and see that they are contorted. We may feel pity or we may feel admiration, but what we don’t know, and most likely can’t know, is whether the contortion(s) came from conscious choice or were thrust upon them out of necessity or unwillingly. Sometimes we all must contort ourselves to fit a specific situation, as a tree will twist and turn as it reaches for the light it needs for survival. With us we may need to contort ourselves for only a short period, unless we have also contorted our minds and are frozen in an unnatural position. At this point we can make a choice: to work at regaining our natural position and recover our balanced nature, or continue contorted, unable to observe or react to life in a measured way. If we face an unusual situation or one that is intriguing to us, we may find it fun and exciting to contort ourselves for a limited time; we may even make that particular situation a regular part of our lives. We should be sure to recognize and continue to recognize that although contortion may stimulate us in the short-run, in the long-run it can be detrimental and warp us. Would you find contortion fun and entertaining as a constant?
Though we often think so, we don’t really need to dress in a flashy way, do flashy or attention-getting things, or spend our resources in a flamboyant or flashy way to get the attention or acclaim we feel we deserve. Often when we do, say, or dress in an attempt to attract attention, we do the exact opposite. Either our appearance or antics draws attention to us and not our message or our stridency negates the admiration our commendable actions those actions deserve. If we must solicit attention for ourselves personally or for what we’re doing we should take a deeper look inside ourselves and ask why we think we need additional help to send our messages. Perhaps it is because we have a lack of confidence and feel we must overdo to convince ourselves and others of our worthiness. Perhaps we feel we should keep up with or surpass others in some way. We fail to recognize that maintaining personal dignity and utilizing a more restrained, but confident, way of making our points will get those points, about ourselves, our thoughts, and our deeds, across efficiently and effectively. A bit of flash will not hurt and may help to get our points made but…do you really think a lot of fash is effective?