If you choose to work alone is it because you think you can do anything all by yourself and want the sole credit for the work? Is it because you don’t like others and want to run things in only your way? Is it because you don’t want anyone to see what you’re doing? Or is it because the work only requires one to get it done quickly and efficiently, or to save others the trouble, or because you need some alone-time? Whatever the reason, isn’t it good to at least consider company while working?
Sometimes we wish for an ability or a skill we do not have and that is completely out of our reach or capability to reach. It is just not possible for the human body to breathe under water unaided or to fly unaided as much as we wish and dream they may be. Thus it can be destructive for us to try to reach such unrealistic goals, at the very least it can lead to despair and a negative feeling about one’s authentic capabilities. When we continue to crave an ability that we know is an impossibility we are also ignoring and denying the capabilities we do have. If we deny these capabilities we are denying others out best attributes and more significantly we are denying ourselves esteem, pride in our accomplishments, and the benefits that come with efforts directed in a realistic direction. Of course it can be fun to dream of being capable of impossible things, but we also must be able to wistfully smile and move on to something more in line with our reasonable goals and aspirations. It can be fun to share impossible dreams with others and listen to theirs; the support found just by sharing and knowing that everyone has something they wish they were capable of and can never be can make reality much more attractive. It’s better to take advantage of your own capabilities than to dream of impossibilities, isn’t it?
No matter how much we might try, there are some times we cannot achieve what we have set out to do. Whether or not we like the outcome, we must deal with not obtaining what we have striven for. This can be difficult when we truly believe that we deserve to have that which we’ve taken the time and effort to strive for. We know, of course we know, that there are things we can dream about but that will be forever out of our grasp. We should not waste our time, emotions, and physical effort on these craving these emotional, physical, and personal things even though they may seem made for us and our goals in life. As an exercise in futility they are wonderful, but they might be taken as an exercise in self-restraint and as a reality check that can direct us back to the attainable. The attainable is not second best, it is a goal, or series of goals, that can give us challenges, but also much more satisfaction than yearning after unrealistic goals. It is also not to say to stop striving at all, just to objectively look at how you’ve constructed your goals and to come to conclusions that are not the equivalent of grasping at bubbles, for they will burst. Aren’t realistic and challenging goals more satisfactory to achieve than ‘pie-in-the-sky’ goals you cannot achieve?
Even though one may be the risk-taking type, or the travelling type, or simply not good organizationally we all recognize a need for some kind of stability in our lives. We may be able to juggle ten things at once or be able to run a household on a nickel or be able to maintain our balance while under pressure, but we do so from a solid base, from stability of a kind different from the purely physical version. Stability involves not only ourselves and ability to keep a realistic perspective on things but also upon a solid base within our family, whether blood family or self-made family, and community. Only with the knowledge that there will always be someone there to ‘get your back’ can we venture off into unexplored territory or unexplored realms of new and challenging things. Stability is not only a fall-back position, though, it also is a cheering section and the place that constructive criticism comes from. With the knowledge that we have a solid base we have can summon the courage to attempt to conquer almost anything, but have succor if we happen to come up a little short. Isn’t coming at life from a strong base more encouraging than spinning your wheels alone and without a solid base to stand on?
We can be so enthusiastic about a project or having fun that we forge ahead, determined to reach our goal, letting nothing deter us. While this may place us in reach of our goal quickly, we should stop to see who or what we may be trampling or neglecting in our wholesale rush toward a single objective. Having goals and working toward them are a necessary part of a healthy life, but having tunnel-vision in pursuit of a goal is not the healthiest way to gain it. A balanced approach toward all your goals, not giving one more importance than another, can help since by acknowledging you have other goals will broaden your outlook and de-emphasize having one goal’s importance be much more important than another’s. With this more balanced distribution of your goals you won’t find yourself in a place you were not expecting to be, not knowing how you got there, and wishing you were somewhere else or second guessing your choices. It is important to take others into consideration when you are making decisions about where you are going and how you are going about it. Others may be hurt mentally or physically if you don’t include them in the process or you may make ill-considered choices without listening to the advice of others. Comparing all options before embarking on your path will lead to better and satisfying outcome. Isn’t having a goal completely finished better than one left only partially complete?
It can be disconcerting, to say the least, when you find someone has entered your home uninvited. It may not be a burglar or another bent on damaging or taking your belongings, it might be someone you know quite well, or think you do. If you have not specifically invited a person to enter your home at any time you should be able to expect that you will remain undisturbed until you choose to invite others to join you. Most people would or do feel uncomfortable if they are discovered while asleep, or showering, or in other intimate positions, and were confronted with someone they were not expecting making themselves at home. It is a violation of a person’s personal living space and right to privacy to treat another person’s space as your own; if you do so on a regular basis and not during an emergency you should take a look at your standards closely. If you have been invaded on a regular basis you should take a look at the messages you are sending out and re-evaluate your availability to others and your lack of desire for a private place of your own. We all have need of a private space we can call our own, a place where we can be who we want to be. We all deserve to have a place for communion with only ourselves. Do you believe we have the right to protect our own homes from disrespect?
Recreation is a necessary part of our lives – we all need it and it seems we never get enough it. When someone else is on the verge of taking off for a fun and recreational place, or if they’re already out there and having a good, relaxing time, we can get pretty envious. We should, too. Envy, being much milder than jealousy, can work to help motivate us toward finishing things we’ve committed to do or to work harder on goals we’ve made to further our interests. A small dose of envy can prod us further along a path we’ve already started down or cause us to create goals that we may not have realized were appropriate and that are directly beneficial to us. Once we realize that something is of direct benefit to us we’ll naturally put more effort into that thing whether it is day-to-day work or the recreation we were envious of in the first place. Envy of a person’s attributes may even be positive and provide you a new friend if presented properly. We must beware of envy morphing into jealousy, however; jealousy is a deterrent to any kind of progress for your mind cannot separate itself from the anger and resentment it feels from the fact that someone else has what you want. Even if you had not realized it or only think you may want what someone else has, it takes you out of yourself and transforms you into another person with new likes, dislikes, and goals, and those not always positive. It’s better to feel some envy than to lose yourself to the tyranny of jealousy. Can you see the positive side to envy?