No matter how far ahead or meticulously we plan ahead we’ll find ourselves waiting in line somewhere, and the hardest part is that we really, really want to experience what it is we’re waiting for. Apart from the unreasonable length of time we have to wait, the lack of a way to comfortably wait, and the lack of a restroom, we are subjected to other people while we’re waiting and, even more irritating, their children. Ours, of course, are perfectly behaved and don’t whine, shout, range around, or climb on things, including people they don’t know. In these situations we tend to stay divided into our own small groups and to become annoyed at any small interruption. It would be interesting to see what happened if we were to turn and say something friendly to that real person standing next to us. We might get along and find interesting things about them. We might even divulge a little something about ourselves and be found interesting. Someone might overhear and join the conversation. Having gained an acquaintance and explored in another’s garden for a bit, we might be able to tolerate (or ignore) their children better. And won’t the waiting time have gone by faster?
We may not always be feeling our best, we may find ourselves in awkward or negative positions, we may have suffered losses of many different kinds, but in general we will not let allow ourselves to descend past certain standards of behavior, grooming, or thinking. Maintaining a self-defined standard in which our dignity and a positive self-esteem are assured is necessary for survival and for the opportunity to effect a change in our circumstances. The majority of people do not choose to wallow in cosmic woe but are trying to work their way toward ever more positive and uplifting places that will create and upward spiral of more and more ambitious goals that lead to better and better outcomes. If we manage to cling to our standards when we are at or approaching our lowest point we stand a good chance at being able to maintain those standards more easily or to lift the bar higher for ourselves when we’ve conquered some of our demons and achieved some of our goals. A benefit we most often have no idea of is in our example of what can be accomplished when one doesn’t let go of self-respect and when one doesn’t stop making an effort to create and reach goals, no matter how small or mundane they may be. Isn’t creating and maintaining a set of standards crucial to your self-respect and self-esteem?
Sweet reason and soft words do not always bring satisfaction when one is in need of something quickly or must have something correctly done. sometimes a touch of pugnacity is the only way to get things done the way you’d like them to done in the time you’d like them to be done.. You may want something specific from someone in the service industry but cannot get anyone’s attention, you may be in the position of performing a task in a group setting and no one will begin or continue with the task, or you may need to insist that something of yours is private. In these situations passivity will not work as a strategy. You must make your expectations and you needs known and must emphasize them without being tentative or backing down. Your needs and desires are just as important as anyone else’s and fading into the background will not help you meet your objectives. You need not be combative, but may show your temper with restraint and make sure that what you’re driving for is very obvious and not unreasonable. A spirited presentation of your rights in a situation cannot be considered belligerent if you don’t make it so. Rather than sweet reason a bit of boldness will often gain you your chosen outcome. In fact, people may applaud you for your pluck and pugnacity instead of privately thinking of you as a pushover or an unimportant person. We all deserve to have our worthiness recognized but that recognition will not happen by stepping back and allowing your needs to be overshadowed by others. Sometimes it’s difficult to step forward instead and declare your position, but you will feel much better about yourself if you do. You will feel better if you speak up in defense and in favor of yourself and if that takes a small elevation in your voice or inserting yourself into a conversation then, within reason, that is what you should do. Going to extremes will lessen your chances to meet your goal so creating and maintaining a balance between tempered pugnacity and passivity is key to your success. Wouldn’t you rather be heard than to be ignored or left in the background?