One hardly notices when evening begins fall in most cases. This is a real shame since the transformation from day to evening time, coming night is a fascinating and beautiful thing to watch and appreciate. It is also a time for thinking and wondering and allow awe to overcome our senses. As the evening progresses, the sky expands and one can feel one’s mind lose its conventional boundaries and, if we allow it, imagination can take over our dreary and worn out minds and welcome beauty and wonder in for at least a few moments. We can feel we’re expanding as the coming night sky is asserting itself. Not a bad place to be in.
When you’ve worked so hard and given it your all it seems a tragedy of epic proportions when some criticises your output or what you produced. If there’s even one person round when you do whatever you do, you know that some comment will be made. You resent anything other than positive critical comments. Then you remember ” If you can’t do it, teach it; if you can’t teach it, be a critic” and then you feel better. Then you remember some of the things you’ve said to others, maybe even unthinkingly, that could have made them feel just the way you have. Do you want to keep on blaming and castigating th critics?
If you choose to work alone is it because you think you can do anything all by yourself and want the sole credit for the work? Is it because you don’t like others and want to run things in only your way? Is it because you don’t want anyone to see what you’re doing? Or is it because the work only requires one to get it done quickly and efficiently, or to save others the trouble, or because you need some alone-time? Whatever the reason, isn’t it good to at least consider company while working?
There are many different ways to describe the word homemaker though the traditional one seems to still be defined as being a woman and staying at home with the couple’s children while the children are young. In addition, homemaker also seems to imply that that same woman also does all the housework, food shopping, gardening, and general handyman tasks. There are some who would quibble and say that we have much less rigid, in terms of gender roles, definitions of words like homemaker. That may be true, but for a large part of the population defining roles such as the homemaker’s role more fairly does not mean that they are performed more fairly. There are plenty of people who will defiantly say they are not going to change their values just to be politically correct and there are at least the same number, probably more, who will pay lip service to making a change toward equality who won’t really consider it for themselves or their family. Promoting equality of labor and duties in the home is quite difficult since home means so many different things, as do equality, duty, proportion, balance, and work outside the home must be taken into consideration too. Wouldn’t it be better to let the responsibility for defining ‘homemaker’ go back to those who are making the home?
We all, mostly, take for granted that there will separate entrances to women’s and men’s restrooms even if they turn out be co-ed, there are usually separate entrances to wherever an entertainment is taking place for guests and for employees, and there are separate entrances for deliveries and patrons of various establishments. As well, as we know, there have been, and still are, separate entrances for different races and people of different socio-economic backgrounds. People develop a repugnance for and a desire to change the door they are expected to use because of their assigned lower socio-economic status and/or so-called ‘inferior’ race therefore creating or reinforcing the belief that there is a real difference between different types of human beings. Because of the sensed or seen resentment thus dislike of the ‘entitled’ group its members try to become even more entrenched in their coveted positions and arm their defenses for use against the ‘rabble.’ Though there have been many attempts and some successes regarding the equalization of entrances and exits, the attitudes of both groups and many other instances of establishing and maintaining a divide between those with differing education, amounts of money, races, or perceived talent, don’t really change. Wouldn’t working toward accepting that we are all human beings, with no essential differences create an easier path for us to follow instead of bickering and fighting ourselves further apart?
There are a few questions we should ask ourselves if thoughts like the above pass through our minds upon arriving somewhere or entering a place be it the break room at work, a campsite, a room in your own residence. Having thoughts like that make it seem normal to assume us assume we are somehow unattractive, as if we haven’t washed, our clothing or ourselves, are ugly, or close to it, that we are repellant. Or we might feel that we are considered stupid or evil, stuck up or a door mat. We are capable of turning ourselves into quite unsavory characters based only the assumed opinions of others. What we are displaying is a lack of confidence, self-knowledge, or a lack of accurate interpretations, or all three and more. If the opinions of others mean much more to use than our own, we have only added to the problem and to our list of self-esteem and confidence issues. A way to help combat the feelings of rejection and feeling as if we’re not really part of any group is to first consult ourselves about ourselves. Once we feel good about how we look and feel about our appearance, and are satisfied, not terrified about entering a place or arriving somewhere, then we can work on extending those feelings to wherever we go. Don’t you think?
A lot of the time when we’ve worked incredibly hard, made difficult sacrifices, gone without those things we consider essential, and much more… we achieve our goal, we are on top of the world, and we have no one to share our triumph with. Not necessarily because we’ve alienated some people along the way, but because we have alienated ourselves; if we want to have sole ownership of the goal we’ve achieved, then we have to make one more sacrifice: we must be prepared to enjoy our triumph alone and refrain from talking about it to others who just can’t understand all the ramifications and who weren’t there anyway. Some of us can handle this well, by compartmentalizing or by not insisting on recognition and a permanent status change thus can move on to another goal. But some of us don’t handle endings well and want the kudos and recognition to go on and on, want to be treated differently or better, want this one achievement to be the sum total of all the effort needed in our lives and don’t even want to think of another goal. If you were to choose would you rather be lonely at the top forever for one achievement or to choose and achieve many goals feeling that loneliness briefly?
It’s hard to remember that whatever we do, we are affecting something or someone. When we eat a bite of food, or speak to someone we don’t know, or even stand and watch a leaf, a bird, another person, we are affecting things around us and affecting things farther away from us that we have no idea we are affecting. If we are planning to affect someone in a specific way; to give them a gift, help them with a project, ruin their day, we tend to be a bit more aware of the effects of what we are doing because we want everything to happened as we planned and hoped it would go, but even with very careful planning and using foresight we have no way of knowing that the phone would ring precisely the wrong second or that a dear friend happens to appear to rescue the object of our ire. But during our execution of events we may have caused just those things. Planning rarely seems to be completely effective in any circumstance; choosing to accept how events proceed and enjoying the variation made possible by seemingly unconnected acts opens us up the inevitability of the effects we are producing all the time. With this awareness, shouldn’t we be more responsible about our smallest actions?
Mostly when we see someone looking secretive, as if they are trying to hide something or themselves, or sneaking quick glances around them the word that might come to mind is furtive. If that word of concept comes into our minds we tend to label that person as furtive or acting in a furtive way. Sometimes, or maybe we call it right and it is all the time, that person is acting in a furtive way because they do have something to hide, they do have secrets they don’t want to or can’t share, or have a need to know who and what is around them. These things may be true and all that behavior may actually be drawing attention to a criminal or abuser of some kind, but that is not always the case. It could be that this person is trying to get away from an abusive relationship and is scared and confused; or this could be a very shy and uncertain person who rarely goes out in public; or this could be a person who just wants some alone time and doesn’t know how to go about finding it. As with most of our judgments made from very quick slices of whatever we’re judging they can wrong just as often as they can be right; isn’t it better to take your time when making judgments?